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Who is Max?
Max was born a grown adult. As his mother pushed him out, upon contact with oxygen, his body spawn into full adulthood.
There are thousands of things that could be said about who Max is, from abhorrent drunk to versatile drug mule. Max is a modern day Renaissance bro. For contrast, I would like to go over the things Max is not: a telephone pole, running for office, Filipino, the cure for tit cancer, parrot hat fashion designer, on the cover of Maxim, or in Jessica’s Alba’s fuck list.
Here are some miscellaneous fun facts about Max:
- Max’s go to pickup line is that he manages Hilary Clinton’s twitter account manager. She currently has tweeted 13 times.
- He went to Iceland in January because he drunkenly bought a ticket on a dare New Year’s Eve and had nothing better to do.
- He weeps when someone unfollows him on Twitter.
- He once smoked crack ‘because it was there’.
- He is a gluten-free-beer-kind-of-guy.
- He is the only person who has ever bought a Facebook gift for someone’s birthday.
- He accidentally dated a prostitute, then moved to LA as a writer to work with a more expensive prostitute.
- He was once woken up by a party of 4 drunk transsexuals in his apartment.
I am 90% certain he is a real person.
-Mel